Thursday, March 16, 2006

I loved you from the moment
when through your eyes I saw your soul
when sheepish over shoulder
a glance I stole
away from childish dreams
and fancied nights
of tossing turning restlesness
and early autumn light
breaks down the pathway to the heart
wherein I've hid
the secret scars that bind me
find me oft cowering within
the smiles built up walls with moated
failsafe fallback plans
that bid me all too often
play it safe
from danger and deceit
hurt lies and fearful chance
stay tucked away fhalf complete
locked in the dance
of going nowhere
moving back as fast I gain
footholds towards tomorrow
hope is lain
bare before reality
but there rising from indemnity
I see light
where once the perfidy
of my occluded treachery
kept me locked in as the enemy
of myself
i fight
you push
in final gasp for light
i find
You were always there

Wednesday, March 01, 2006

SHE

There exists within my mind
The thought that I might find
A love so fleeting so escaping
That its discovery opens to me
A wealth of possibility
Behind whose doors are those things
That cause poets to write
And singers to sing
About their muse
That which can so easily confuse
Confounding expectation
And limiting one’s observation
To only that which exists within the pages of lore
And the staff of score-s
Of missed opportunity
And that which is tragedy
As you hold to the possibility
That maybe
This one
Might be
she

©2006 J. Damany Daniel

clarity

clouded vision breaks
and through broken night i see
what fear deprived me

nike ain't easy...

So, I worry that I may have inadvertantly and adversely affected the nature of friendships that I hold dear. I am not sure if this is an accurate reflection, but nevertheless one that I am currently feeling. I realize that we all act in a lot of ways out of our hurts, out of our fears and out of our insecurities. That was great to know when it was someone else, but a lot different when it is me on the acting end and not on the counseling and processing end of those hurts and pains. For the longest time I have advised friends and family alike as to the best ways to handle their situations, often adopting the "Nike-esque" philosophy of just do it. Often I was able to be with people at their greatest moments of personal change and was honored to be a part of those moments. But here, at this moment of consternation in my life, I find myself stuck, immobilized by a force more gripping than any other I have confronted-- fear.

How can this be, I wonder. I mean I have always talked about how it is better to just confront that which lies in front of you as opposed to allowing it to languish on ad infinitum. I have always felt, no known, that it really is better to grab life by the horns and attempt to steer it in whatsoever direction you choose, regardless of the impact it may or may not have on current situations. I mean, it is better to live life knowing what cards are in your hand then to constantly wonder about the efficacy of what may or may not be.


So, to anyone I have ever spoken to about confronting fear and simply overcoming it, I apologize. Fear is a cruel mistress that is not so easily overcome by simple decision. Now, I still contend that fear is overcome by simply oveercoming it, but the ease with which that overcoming happens is not at all how I have often presented it. Yeah, just get over stuff, confront the past, your situation, your personal beliefs that stand in the way of further development because it really is just that easy. Right.

sight

I saw you staring
and in breathless wonder I
knew i was undone