Monday, June 11, 2007

Views from the Vagabond

So, every morning I get an e-mail from some random person in some random state with a bunch of quotes designed to inspire me to accomplish great things. It's really one of the greatest things you can imagine. I mean, every morning (yep, even including Saturday and Sunday) I get to hear from some of the world's and history's most influential and impacting people- not a bad deal. Anyway (please note the absence of the letter s from the preceding word- my cause for the week is gramattical correctness), today there were a host of quotes from people ranging from Ayn Rand to the incomperable Lucille Ball , but the one that stuck out to me was from the queen of all time television herself- Madame O. Yep, Oprah Winfrey in a recent issue of O magazine (I say recent, but I have no idea as there was no date attached) said the following: "Understand that the right to choose your own path is a sacred privilege. Use it. Dwell in possiblity." What stuck out most to me was the latter part of that quote, "dwell in possibility."

If anyone knows me, they know that I try to be big on seeing possibility out of the bleakest and most desire of circumstances- including my own. Sure, I get frustrated and want to throw in the towel on occasion, but by and large, I try to hold onto hope (things are gonna get better- Thank you TV singers) even when things seem hopeless. I mean ultimately it's what little we can hold on to when all else seems to fail. For those of you that do not know this about me, I have been basically homeless for the past several months (and by basically, I mean I have been). Now I don't mean homeless in the sense that I have been despondent or living on the street corner begging for change, no I simply mean I have been in a pretty consistent state of transition for the better part of 7 months. It's been humbling to say the least. Currently I reside on a couch at a friend's house who has been kind enough to open his doors to me, the vagabond from Brooklyn. I love it and I hate it.

Recently, this friend of mine and I had a conversation about my current state and why I was in it. My only answer boiled down to one word- hope. I know that the outside of this present circumstance seems bleak and dire, but I know that ultimately there is hope. I have a job, and I love it even if it isn't paying me as much as I could be elsewhere. I am getting to create something where there once was nothing- it's exhilirating. I am surrounded by friends of the highest calliber who do nothing but support me in all that I do (ergo my current living situation) and I am on the path of something great. I don't entirely know what that is or what it looks like, but I know that I am.

Countless times I have been asked why I don't simple get a different job and start afresh. Get my own place, get off the couch and be a responsible adult. Again- hope. There is an inward hope that somehow I have made the right decision. I mean, I just know it. Starting your own something is never easy. Deciding to fly in the face of convention is unorthodox at best, insane at worst. But, nevertheless I know it's right. I know that to continue to plod along after a dream that is continuing to take shape as I live it is what I am supposed to do. I strive for a seemingly unattainable goal, and that keeps me hungry. I want to see the world changed. I want arts and music to sweep the world in such a way that people can not help but be changed by its influences. I want to see lives made better by the others they come into contact with. It's impossible to see that fully realized in my lifetime- I get that- and that's what keeps me striving for its attainment, the hope that I will see some part of it in my now.

Here's my bottom line. I will continue to strive for that which sometimes seems to only make sense in my head. I will be tempered by experiences and the friends around me who are good enough to support me and to be honest at the same time. I am committed to the pursuit of a vision and the dedication to a dream even if I don't always know what exactly that dream or vision is. I am committed to pursuing purpose and to not giving up because things get difficult. I've been homeless, and it's been liberating because it has taught me the value of friendship and the value of hope. I seek to constantly dwell in possibility.


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