When Help is Your Only Prayer

I realized something recently. I can't return to Tulsa. Don't get me wrong, I absolutely love this place, have great friends, a great church, and led a great life while I was here. This also doesn't mean that I'll never be back. It's just the right now life in Tulsa that I can't do. It's weird and more than a little bit new for me. In seasons past, I've had no choice but to accept the cards that I was dealt and deal with them as best I could. But now, opportunities are presenting themselves to me and I am choosing to walk away from them because something in my gut is telling me I have to. Sure, there are a host of reasons why I can't stay- mostly emotional and spiritual- but that's not what this post is about. No, this is about the choice I don't want
to make. This is about faith in spite of what's easiest and about deciding to Robert Frost it down an occasionally darkened path because something bigger than yourself is drawing you there.

Truth be told, I'm scared- really scared. In times past I've allowed my faith to guide me because I had seemingly just fallen into the situations I found myself in and therefore had no choice. This time I'm choosing this path above all others. What's my fear? That I got it wrong. I'm afraid that what I'm thinking I'm hearing is not what's actually being said. I'm afraid that I might be missing God in my haste and zeal to find the right direction for my life. I'm afraid I'm
getting it wrong. But I am reminded of something I all too often tell friends facing similar situations- "God is bigger than our inability to always hear exactly what he's saying.". What I mean is that I believe is that God is more interested in a submitted heart constantly striving than He is in if we got the interpretation exactly right. He wants our hearts because as long as He has those, what we do will be about bringing Him glory and not serving our own selfish agendas. So, I keep reminding myself to keep striving towards a goal I can't always see to serve a God I can't always understand because I still believe his ways are truly past finding out and his purpose for me not yet fully revealed. So, right now my prayer is simple- "help.". Help me
understand my purpose and destiny. Help me know what's next and help me have the inner fortitude and faith to keep walking down the path. I'm sure it will make all the difference.

Pursue. Original.

-Damany

If Music Festivals Were Churches...

I went out to Dfest last night, and must say that I had an absolute blast. The opportunity to be surrounded by hundreds of thousands of other people who have one thing on their mind, the pursuit of good music, is absolutely amazing. Everyone there was a "friend" to everyone else, simply because we shared a common goal- music. People I had not seen in ages came out of the woodwork, and people I had never met stood side by side with me and sang at the top of our collective lungs. The streets of Tulsa ran free with love and acceptance and I loved it.

This morning as I thought about all that I had experienced, I realized how much of a typology of the Church last night's gathering could be. It was a gathering of people of all races, genders, age ranges, sexual preferences, religions, and cultures who were there for an express purpose. They came with their brokenness, their failures, their struggles and their successes, and were all dedicated to this pursuit. What if the Church were more like that? What if we could stand side by side with the broken without the fear that their perceived "filth" or sin would rub off on us and sully our previously unmarred appearance? What if we could accept people for where they were while letting our ife and conversation push them towards all that God has created them to be? What if love really did have the power to change and what if loving extravagantly really did bring about extravagant results in people's lives? How different would our evangelistic outreaches be if they were built out of love and showing Christ's to the world as opposed to an increase in our "salvation" numbers for the week/month/year? What if we really believed that it was God's job to change people and our job to love them and present them with the truth of the Gospel in a way that doesn't condemn them but draws them into the "Amazing Love" of God?

Love as if all the world depends on it- because it does.

Pursue. Original.

When fog lights the way...

I've been trying to write something creative for quite some time now, and nothing comes to me. I can't seem to figure out why. It's like there's some sort of blockage to the creative flow of ideas that has at other times flowed so freely from my mind. It kind of sucks. It seems like I am in this dry spell. The interesting thing is that often when I find myself in situations such as the one I am in now (i.e. jobless, seeking vision and direction), the weight of the situation virtually compels me to write. Poems flow, blogs come in abundance, and the tide of creative thought can scarcely be stemmed. This situation seems to be quite the opposite. By the way, if you're reading this post looking for some sort of nugget hidden amidst the drivel, I can't promise that it'll be there. This is just me writing as I think, trying frantically to get my thoughts on paper (well, sort of) before they escape and hoping that the processing of paper will lead me to some sort of identifiable conclusion.

Ok, here's where I am. At this point, we all know that I was let go from my position with Teen Mania after only five months being there. It threw me for a definite loop. It came out of nowhere, especially after the warm welcome I received when I first came on staff from people at all levels of leadership. To say that it was upsetting, frustrating, and overall pretty sucky for me would be a tad bit or an understatement. Nevertheless, as I have also indicated in previous blogs God met me at the point of my need and hooked me up with a temporary job that started two days after my old one ended. That's now over as well, and it forces me to confront the harsh reality of my situation. I'm unemployed. Again. I thought I had a more long term solution on the horizon, but that dell through, so I am grinding it out, searching for something that is my "next," though I am not entirely sure which direction I am to be walking in. I mean, there are lots of things that I love and enjoy working on, but which of those things am I to expend my energy in accomplishing? I have no idea.

Here are a couple of my aphorisms for life right now:
1. Pursue. Original.
2. Run boldly in the direction of your dreams.

My question now is, what if you're not even sure what those dreams are anymore? What do you do when the direction is hazy, when a low lying fog occludes even the path from being seen? The Bible says in Psalms 119:105 that God's word is "a lamp to my feet and a light for my path." So often I have counseled people with this scripture, declaring that we should trust God to let us see the next step instead of always trying to figure out the everything. I find myself in the place of my own counsel. I can't see the path though... and that scares me a little bit. I mean, I know what I enjoy and at what I excel, but how they play together and how to get paid for them is a different story all together. I really thought I had found something for which I was uniquely suited at my last job, managing and inspiring people, leading creative initiatives, travelling, being a part of impacting a culture and shaping a generation. And now, that's gone. So what's next? Where is that light that supposedly breaks through the dawn and illumines the path before me so I know what direction to run boldly towards?

I'm ready to be settled. Not bored and stoic, just settled. I'm ready for some stability. I don't mean I want to settle in one place for the rest of my life, I simply mean I want things to come together in a way that makes sense. I want all the tales of my life to come together to craft a story, and for all the pieces to come together to create the mosaic that is my future- that is my life. I want my life to count for more than right now. I'm ready for true vision. The type of vision that compels change, first in yourself, and later in the world around you. I'm ready for the kind of vision that paints before you a future you can see-if not yet touch, until the brushstrokes of dreams become the concrete of realities. May that day come quickly.

Pursue.Original.

Drive Into the Sunrise

A  few days ago, I left Toccoa, GA on my way to Nashville to hang out with friends.  If you've been following the blog at all, you know that I have spent the past three weeks at the Georgia Baptist Conference Center working as the video director for Go Tell Minstry's summer camp.  It's been a blast, and I have made some significant friendships as well as having an awesome time just being free of the regular melee of daily life.  All in all, it's been a great month following a rough patch wherein I was let go from my job at Teen Mania- but this isn't about that.

About halfway through the trip (which involved getting lost no less than three times, several wrong turns, and scary horror scene like drives along deserted back roads), Abner (my driving buddy) got tired and asked if I could take the wheel for a while.  I, of course obliged and we continued on the road to Nashville.  Now, Abner's car does not have a radio and the iPod we were using suddenly died, so I was left with a sleeping Abner and not much in the way of external stimulation to keep my mind off the whirring sound of rubber against asphalt at 60 miles per hour.  It was strangely soothing, and since we were in no particular rush to make it home, I decided to just lay back and let my mind wander.  I mean, let's face it, I do have a fair amount to think about- my need for a job, a place to live, a plan for my life that God still seems to be holding close, etc.- so thinking right now wouldn't be a bad thing.  But then I started getting tired.

Now, normally, the rules of the guy roadtrip include such foolishness as, "keep driving and shake off the fatigue," or "you need to make it to your destination as quickly as possible."  None of these things were proving true for me, I was beat.  We had just finished three weeks at a summer camp and an all day load out, and my body was telling me it needed a rest.  So, I pulled to a rest stop on the side of the road and obliged it.  What was originally intended to be a 30 minute nap, turned into three hours of blissful sleep nestled between a military vet (as his bumper sticker indicated) and a minivan full of (presumably) sleeping kids.  I think I dreamt about something, though for the life of me I couldn't tell you what...

When I awoke, I had an innate sense of panic, as if I had missed out on something by sleeping for so long, as if the few hours I had spent with no forward motion were somehow going to drastically derail my plans and somehow throw me wildly off course.  But then, I felt as if something just said, "chill."  Nothing had been lost, and I had missed no pivotal event.  Sure, I wouldn't get to Nashville as quickly, but so what, what was there that required my immediate attention right now anyway?  What was so important, save the seeming joy of accomplishment at finishing a road trip in record time, that required me to hightail it across the states to make it to my destination in such a rush?  What was the hurry?

For those of you that know me well, you know that I hate roadtrips.  I hate sitting in cars for endless periods of time and I hate driving and driving and driving and driving and...you get the idea.  But what if my issue with roadtrips has less to do with the driving and more to do with the fact that we are always in a rush to "get" somewhere?  What if the issue really stems from the fact that we miss out on roadside stands and random balls of yarn along the way simply because the rules of the road mandate our expedience?  Why are we in such a hurry?  As I settled into the monotony of the drive a startling fact was made apparent to me, I would be driving into the sunrise.  I would get the opportunity to greet the dawn as it kissed the horizon with images of pink and purple and said hello to this part of the world.  I would be one of the few blessed enough to know what the start of a new day looks like.  While countless others lay slumbering in their beds, unaware of the beauty that lay just beyond their closed eyelids and shuttered houses, I was a part of the morning and was welcoming it into the world.  It was exhilirating.  

As the sun made its gradual ascent over the horizon in front of me, I couldn't help but smile at the fact that I would have missed this had I decided to push through the night.  If I had chosen to drive through the night I would have been like the countless others, safe and sound inside a bed as beauty exploded all around me and I slept blissfully unaware.  And I wondered, how much of my life is like that?  How much of my daily experience is a push for the expedient, a rush to get somewhere instead of drinking in the moments and beauty that surrounds me?  I eat for sustenance, never truly acknowledging the flavors that play across my tastebuds in even the simplest of meals.  I drive by fields so green as if from a painting and never even comment on their beauty, or see an attractive woman and never stop to tell her.  I am in such a rush to get...where?  What in the world am I rushing to do?  I have no job, and no idea what my next one will be.  I have great friends and a God that loves me, but I am more concerned with what's next than I am with what's now.  I am missing out on so much and I don't even realize all that I am missing.  How sad is that irony?  Not only am I missing out, but I am going so fast that I'm not even aware of what I am missing.

So I endeavor to slow down.  I endeavor to see sunrises and sunsets and share moments with people that I love.  I want to taste, not just consume food, and experience beauty in ways I had previously discounted or looked over.  I want to see all that God created and called "good," and understand why.  I want to live life and not just float through it because that's what you do for the time you're upon the earth.  In a few weeks, my grandfather turns 90, and the stories he has to tell are undoubtedly amazing- but I know none of them.  I have never gleaned the wisdom from a man who has seen world wars, the invention of all manner of world altering devices, and the birth of three children and countless grand and great grandchildren.  I have passed all this history by, and for what?  My expedient, but ultimately empty life?  Is this really what I have lived for?  Have I even lived? 

The Pursuit of Holiness

within Christian culture, we often speak of the "pursuit" of things like holiness, but what does this mean? Is holiness an ever moving target that we are constantly striving after? Is it something which can be attained, or will it constantly be shifting and changing, becoming ever more elusive as its parameters and requirements consistently change? Is there an ultimate standard of holiness to which we ascribe, or is even that shifting? I know the Bible says to "be holy as (God) is holy," but is that genuinely possible? Look at the Israelites in the Bible, even their holiness came in levels. The kind of holiness the Levites were called to was vastly different from that which the average Israelite found themselves ascribing to. You didn't see Ashimibimilech (name changed to protect the ignorant- me) going through nearly the level of purification that Aaron and his peeps did. Why not? If there is no respect of persons in God, should this be the case? If the Bible speaks of there being neither Jew nor Greek in God's eyes, shouldn't that mean there is some ultimate standard of "holy" that we are in pursuit of or are we genuinely called to have a level of "holy" we seek after? If levels, how do we know what our specific one is? Thoughts?
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Who I used to be

I got the opportunity to go to Toccoa Falls today. It's this little waterfall tucked away on the backside of a college campus in Toccoa, GA where I've been for the past few weeks. I went with some new friends and it was awesome. The sound of the water rushing over the side of the cliff soothed me in a way I had forgotten existed.

As I climbed through well worn paths and trails previously cut by would-be explorers, I was reminded of who I used to be. I was reminded what it was like to be the adventurous kid with little in the way of fear who would strike out on adventures with or without friends by my side. I was reminded of what it was like to camp, fish, hike and bike with little regard for anything save the experience. I was reminded what it was like to blaze trails and to construct stories of explorers of old who had trod the same paths where my feet now stood. I was reminded of a simpler time where life was good, not because it was always naturally that way, but rather because I was committed to search hard enough, and dig deep enough to find the good. I was reminded what it was like to search for a treasure made that much sweeter by its pursuit. I want to go back there.

I want to again blaze trails and not expect the status quo to satisfy me. I want to push limits and defy boundaries to keep me penned in. I want to press past what is seen for the sheer hope that a more exciting something lays just beyond a seemingly imperceptible veil. I want to be limited only by my ability to imagine and my willingness to attain what I dream of. I am limitless because God is limitless and I dare boundaries to stand in my way. God, help me to always remember that.

D-$
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When nothing speaks

So, I went out yesterday with the intention to hear from God. I wanted the direction that everyone says comes from places of openness and abandonment. I wanted to find out where my "next" was. So I sat, surrounded by a dozen or so people, my thoughts were turned inwards, searching for the kernel of an answer that I just knew had to be there. Many times I have pondered, wondering how all that I love and want to do will play together. I want to know (as I am sure we all do) how the skills, desires and abilities will somehow coalesce into something tangible, something forward moving, something life altering. I want to know my future.

But, as I sat there, the one thing that kept reverberating in my mind was a simple phrase- "don't rush it.". Don't rush what, my desire for clarity? I would hardly venture to say that the path towards purpose I am on is a hurried one. No, it's been full of setbacks, pitfalls, and detours I never would have nor could have accounted for if given the chance. I move forward, only to realize that it seems as if I am going in circles with the same thing continuing to repeat itself. But then I am reminded of an analogy...

We always speak of climbing mountains, as if the pinnacle of said mountain is our dream fully actualized. I'm not going to seek to refute that mindset, so let's go with it for a minute. If you've ever been hiking up the side of a mountain, you know that the best way to hike it is to essentially backtrack your steps over and over again. These paths are called "switchbacks," and what you find yourself doing is travelling in a zig zag pattern up the mountain constantly going higher and higher until the apex (or your respective basecamp) is reached. What's interesting is that you are liable to see the same view from the mountain a few times through the course of your trek- but you're not lost. Yes, you've been here before, but "here" is slightly different because you are now looking from a slightly higher vantage point. Your perspective has changed. Where once the trees that stood before you appeared to be a seemingly insurmountable ridgeline, you are soon eye level with treetops towering hundreds of feet above where your journey first began. You now see and live where birds freely fly, untouched by the predators that could have at one time so easily ensnared them. Yeah, the view's very similar, but now you can see a little more and gaze a little farther. Now the present that once looked so bleak looks glorious in the light of the setting sun. Now the present has become the past and your triumph over it propels you ever forward to a higher future. Oh yeah, and let's not forget that your new vantage point gives you the wisdom to be able to look at what others travelling the same path are experiencing and call out to them, reminding them that perseverance wins. Wait it out, push forward, and know that the present isn't for always and that the higher you go, the brighter it gets and the bluer the sky becomes.

So, what won't I rush? This process. Its painful and at times my heart aches to be settled, but there's beauty in pain for those committed enough to find it. There's purpose always lurking even if its difficult at times to see it. So, I'll cherish this process, I'll relish it and all that it will teach me. Every step is a step higher, and though the scenery may seem similar, I know I'm ultimately headed to something more and won't always stay here.

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The Hope of Silence

So, I'm sitting out here at the lake listening...to nothing, and it's the most beautiful nothing I've ever heard. There are no city sirens, no artificial light, no distracting things to draw me away from this...nothing. Now more than ever before I understand why God time and time again tells people to go into the middle of nowhere to seek Him. Its in these nowhere places that, all too often we find him more than we thought possible, and definitely more than we anticipated. It's in these nowhere moments that God speaks in the voice of the breeze rustling through the trees, or touches us as it brushes past our skin. It's here that God tells us to listen up as the gentle sound of birds reminds us that there's more to our life than our here and our now, but that this thing has been going on for far longer than we can imagine and we are just a part. It reminds us that the part we play is God's to direct and if we will let him, we'll see a masterpiece created. It reminds us of hope- the hope found in silence.
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This is where I'm staying

Yeah, so this is the beauty I get to stay in for the next three weeks. Life is good. God is better.
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Go Tell Day 1

Ok, I arrived in Atl today and made it to the camp. It's pretty sweet. Bordering a lake is some of themost pristine and beautiful land I have seen. I'm really loving it so far and really think these next few weeks are going to be amazing. I'll have the time to read and write that I haven't had in quite a while. I'll do the whole nature walk thing, and who knows, maybe I'll even start running again (I do have new sneakers after all). Yeah, this'll be a good trip, worship daily with a bunch of kids passionate for Jesus and hanging out with some pretty cool guys. I'm excited. The only thing I'm not excited about is the state of the video rack I'm to be using. The guy who had it before me obviously believed int he "do everything from memory" method, so nothing is labeled and nothing really makes sense. But that's tomorrow's problem. For now, I'm off to read some more. Until later...

D-$

What people do when they have lots of free time...

So, in case you haven't heard, I was let go from my job at Teen Mania last week. I won't bore you with all the details. Today was my first day unemployed, and it was actually a blast. I went in to Tyler and went shopping- for myself (something I have not done in months, maybe even years). I bought a sweet pair of shoes and some other randomness, but today I enjoyed life for me. I hung out with a friend and just had an all around good time. The catalyst for my shopping is the most important part though.

Yesterday I was sitting at lunch with some friends- it was a bit of a going away party for me, so the subject of "what's next" naturally came up. To be honest, I had and have no idea. I know it seems like we've been down this path before and if you're unsure of what I mean, check in the archives of this blog, or go to my myspace for more detail. It does seem like this is a recurring theme, but nevertheless, here I am- what's next? I obviously replied that I had no idea. I was going to move back to Tulsa but that is seeming less and less likely as time goes on.

Out of the blue, they offered to send me to the Atlanta area for three weeks because one of their production personnel had backed out. So, there goes the ram in the bush for right now. After three weeks passes, I'll be right back where I was yesterday, with no idea what's next, but if God was faithful for me in this, he will be faithful in that time as well. Who knows, maybe I'll just travel around visiting friends. I may just be coming to a city near you. Keep checking the blog for updates and follow me on twitter. See you online. To the CCM/Marketing kids- I love you guys. You all are some of the most talented people I have met and I am honored to
have worked alongside you. Thanks for giving me the opportunity to get to know each of you and if you ever need anything, do not hesitate to ask (except for Bertha, you I will not help). To my peeps, you know how much each of you mean to me, so thank you for letting me be your leader, your friend, and your co-worker. God bless all that each of you do from this point on. Call/email/text/twitter me if you ever need anything.

D-$

Pursue. Original.

I look out on the current landscape of Christian thought and am a little disconcerted and more than a little concerned about where we are headed. Most specifically, I am referring to our capacity to dream and pursue that which is new and original. It seems as if everything we do is a mashup or, in some cases, a direct copy of something else we've seen someone else doing. It sometimes seems as if we are not striving for our original idea, our own unique thought, but rather for a Jesusified version of something the "purveyors of cool" within our culture are doing. The hottest Christian bands are those that sound eerily similar to whatever the hottest "secular" band is doing. We have Christian Myspace clones, Christian...well everything. It's almost like we got tired of thinking for ourselves and thought it would be easier to merely rip off what someone else is doing, saying that we're offering an alternative to the things of the world, when in actuality we are just hiding behind our own lack of a desire to dig deep and find the kernel of originality that exists within each of us.

Here's my question- we say things like God makes no two people the same. We tout the originality of fingerprints, DNA, and snowflakes as proof that God is the most creative force in all the universe. We say that God is all powerful and can do any and everything he wants with the slightest of thoughts- mountains in the sea, sun standing still, yada yada. With all this power and originality, why do we still think it necessary to fall back on ripping off those around us. IF we truly are called to be in His image, and IF we believe that God is alive and working within us, how is it possible for us to merely clone those around us? What happened to the time when Christian thought led the day? What happened to the era when Christian scientists (not the denomination) were the main ones making advancements in all manner of scientific endeavors? Where has the pursuit of original music led by the Church gone? Why have we settled for the mediocre, saying that we're attempting to be "relevant" to our culture when in actuality we're just being lazy?

Original exists. It has to. If it doesn't then it means God has run out of good ideas or has run out of ways to convey them to us. If either of those two things are true, we're in a much worse place than merely not having music that is unique, websites and businesses that stand out from the masses, thought that stands above the fracas, or advancements in science and technology that make a difference as being more than just a repackaged and often more trite version of something some "brilliant" individual came up with. I dare to pursue the original in everything. Will I always attain it? Probably not, but not finding it does not mean it doesn't exist any more than not hearing God speak the first time I ask him for help means he does not exist. I dare to dream. I dare to pursue. I dare to be original.

Beyond Blogging

In a recent article by BusinessWeek, the conversation was continued about Blogging and the future of social media and networking. I'm not just referring to how effective Facebook and Myspace are, but rather how social media and networking are creating a "bottom-up" culture within corporations where everyone can become one of the "voices" of the company. Blogs open the world up to make anyone a perceived "expert" in a particular subject and enable people to collaborate around an idea in a way they never could have before.

The "digital water cooler" enables companies to hear from and respond to its clients, customers and employees in a way unheard of until now. It means that everyone can (and oftentimes will) be a part of the development of a project and/or strategy simply by speaking into or about it. In short, our constituency is our developer and vice versa.

What does this mean for us? It means that we need to be a part of the conversation that people are having about our products. We need to pose the questions and watch as the answers come in, responding and reacting, but ultimately observing. Starbucks recently launched a social network designed solely to gather customers suggestions about how to make Starbucks better. The result, Starbucks announces that more than 12 million people will now be eligible for free internet at their locations starting this Spring. The conversation motivated and initiated by Starbucks changed the way they were doing business.

Tools like twitter,linkedin, and del.icio.us, mean that it is easier than ever to stay connected with what people are doing and have them stay connected with you. It means the world is becoming flatter and flatter by the day (and in fact- the hour) as we all end up on a level playing field. It's a new day and we're excited to be jumping right in the middle of it.

*For more info about any of the technologies listed above, feel free to email me. Trust me, they're really cool :).

Anyone else have a problem with this?

Really, a musical about one night stands?

Child Sex Changes? What's wrong with us?

So, I stumbled upon this article on FoxNews.com today and was more than a little disturbed. What is this world coming to when we are offering things like sex changes to kids as young as 7?!
I mean seriously. All of a sudden kids are capable of making decisions about their sexuality when the options to pick out their clothes or eat are still handled by their parents- how does that make sense to anyone? But yet here we are, and this crackpot doctor is actually defending his actions. How is this logical? How is this sensible? How does this even smack of anything closely resembling medicine and how is it not akin to child abuse? Ok, I'm done with this venting session, feel free to comment.

Ok, so the following series of thoughts may, on some level, sound like they fly in the face of what I wrote yesterday but just stay with me for a little bit, ok?

I want to talk about the flip side of community. What I'm talking about is the side of community that keeps us cloistered in our Christian ghettos (I mean that in the classical sense, not the more modernized sense)with little reason to poke our heads out of spiritual clouds unless we are "evangelizing." What I'm talking about is the idea that in order to remain a strong Christian, you must surround yourself with only other Christians. I'm referring to the moments in our lives when someone tells us (directly or indirectly) that we need to befriend the sinner so that we can win them to Christ and save their soul from a burning Hell. I'm talking about love with strings attached.

How much do I like it when I can tell that someone is befriending me simply so they can have access to something I have, or something I can do for them? How much do I hate it when someone knows I have access to a certain thing and all of a sudden they're interested in my life when in moments past they had absolutely no desire to know anything substantive about me? But, sometimes I have found myself guilty of the same thing. I seek out certain friendships with other people because of what I have to offer them, namely Jesus. Now, don't get me wrong, Jesus is definitely someone that should be woven through the fabric of our lives, but not in such a way that we don't hear people's hurt or stand with them through their pain simply because all we see is their sin and need for salvation.

How many times have we been standing with someone who may or may not know Christ, and the entire time they are talking about whatever faces them, we are thinking about how we can use what they're saying to point them towards Christ? How often does our desire to be a friend become contingent on whether or not we can "convert the soul?" I would venture to say it happens far too often. People don't always want the gospel. Sometimes they just want an ear that listens and a shoulder that catches tears. Sometimes they just want someone to be there when they're needed. Sure, God can open up opportunities for the gospel to be shared, but shouldn't that in a lot of ways be His deal? Ultimately , shouldn't the moment of decision for someone come about, not because of a calculated plan of attack against the sinners of the world with salvation but as a result of designer... I'm tired and losing coherence. I'll try back when my eyes aren't closing and sandmanic thing are not wafting past my eyes. Yeah, I'm really tired. I'll finish this later

Breathe deeply

What happened to the idea that life was not supposed to be lived alone? I'm not talking about being in some sort of relationship or anything as cliche as that. No, I'm merely talking about having people alongside you that "do life" with you. We have become so focused on "personal growth," and "personal development" that we forget that the healthiest part of life is lived alongside our friends, our family, and those others who remind us that there is more to the life that we live than the existence of our individual goals.

There's a huge push right now within certain Christian communities towards this whole thing called "community," but I would venture to say that few of us really understand what that is or what it looks like. To be honest, I don't know that there is any one thing that it should or does look like. Community is the thing that enables you to let your guard down. It's the safe place that means that no matter who you are, and no matter what you've done or where you've gone, you are accepted for who you are and loved for who you are becoming. Community is the place where you realize fully who you are, because society has stripped away your essence in its attempt to make you into the carbon copy of everything they think is acceptable. Community is the place of safety that compels change. Community is where true "personal development" and personal growth can happen. Community is where we were all intended to be.

If it's true that we were all intended to find a place of community, why is it so often that we run from it? Why do we eschew the very thing which will lead us closer to being who we actually are? Why do we continually seek to foster an environment of individuality, and why is our faith as guilty of it as anything else?

Why do we think that "personal" and "intimate" quiet times with God are the ways in which we will find true development? Why do we think that spending 30 minutes to an hour reading the bible alone and quietly reflecting on what we've read is the way to true spiritual fulfillment and growth? Why do we think we can do this alone? Jesus, in every trying time of his life surrounded himself with those that could build him up and support him. After his 40 day/40 night fast and temptation- the angels; at the Garden of Getshamene- the disciples (albeit sleeping); on the cross- mom, friends, and other family. If Jesus saw fit to surround himself with community, what makes us think we can handle this thing on our own.

So, what am I saying? Live life together. Enjoy each other's company. Argue and debate. love and be frustrated. Breathe in all the flavors, bitter and sweet that life has to offer and remember that the life we live is more than just not for ourselves, it's meant to not be by ourselves either.

Live. Laugh. Love.

An update

I'm gonna post some blogs I have from my myspace page. I think I'm moving my blogging over to here for now. At least I'll double up the posts on both places for a while.

Dare to dream. Dare to find the fantastic.

When did we lose our desire for wonder? When did it become acceptable to simply adopt the reality that is presented to us as fact, never questioning, never wondering, never hoping that there might be more. What happened to the child-like nature of the imagination that enables us to believe in spite of whatever is immediately before us? I'm still processing this one...

Blogging from the road

So, I'm thinking about a bunch right now and the thing that keeps sticking out to me is the idea of pursuing creativity. I'm working on this idea, "dare to find the fantastic.". More later.